Overcoming my (life-long) Public Speaking Phobia with EFT

Tamara Low

- Accredited EFT
- Pranic Healer -Author

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on email
Share on linkedin

I did something that I thought I would NEVER ever ever ever ever (be able to do)! That is, be a guest on a podcast….

What might that be for you?

I have had a deeply engrained public speaking terror/phobia since I went completely blank, forgetting my lines in the school play in grade 6. After that, doing a presentation in school and being seen became excruciating for me. As a result, I would fiercely and diligently try and avoid speaking publicly and being the centre of attention at all cost! Avoiding, retreating, and staying small and hidden had been my go-to solution for decades! But teachers and professors would NOT ‘let that happen’ (grrrrr), which brought up MANY things in me. So, this traumatic experience -turned phobia got more and more deeply entrenched as the years went by! It made my life narrower and smaller- and consumed a lot of energy being on high alert and trying to avoid ‘danger.’ Part of me resigned to ‘this is how it would always be! 

My recent writing contribution to a chapter in I AM: Releasing the Shame of Narcissistic Abuse…..” has brought up quite a few opportunities to be more visible, to be seen and heard. The other 13 authors and I have done a few Zoom events/interviews, which was definitely out of my comfort zone, but feeling the security of the group made it much easier! Also, the opportunity to do podcasts on my own began to spring up. YIKES! That felt TERRIFYING! I so DEEPLY wanted to be able to do this, but it seemed pretty impossible- for someone else, not me.

An opportunity presented itself to work with someone with Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), looking to do a case study to complete his certification on just this, the fear of public speaking! Thank you, universe, for orchestrating this one! I did 5 EFT sessions with Brian (his contact info is below), and the results were PHENOMENAL! I also did some EFT in-between sessions when things came up. This was something that I NEEDED the assistance of someone qualified, patient, and empathic to help guide and lead me through this minefield.

I had so many fears and hesitations. In the first session with Brian, we worked on my feeling around being forced by so many teachers/professors to speak in public/in front of the class, do presentations, be put on the spot to answer questions. I had deep and unhealed trauma- so this approach by my teachers/professors was NOT helpful! It felt like I was being overpowered, controlled, and violated – I was forced to do something very unsafe for me. It was too much! What I needed was someone to help me to overcome this phobia, not push it deeper! I felt angry, resentful, and deeply resistant. I could not say no; ‘I am not comfortable with this’! I was not heard, respected; my boundaries were constantly trampled on. I felt powerless.

At the end of the session, I saw an image of myself on a cliff, and I had a choice to stay small, fearful, and hidden or to be seen and step out of the shadows. I knew that I wanted to step into the newness, the new me…that was a good sign!

The morning of the second session, I woke up in a complete (inner-child) panic. I felt like she was around age 6. She was trying to shut down the idea of even thinking about doing this upcoming podcast! I/she felt consumed with fear and the feeling that I /we did NOT want to be pushed out of my comfort place!! It was a 9/10 intensity. At the end of the last session, we put the remaining left-over aspects in an imaginary box to work on during the next session. So, this is where we started with the third session.

The left-over contents in the ‘box’ felt very difficult for me to look at! What came to the surface was a time 15 + years ago, I worked up the courage to do a radio interview regarding Tail Blazers: Health Food Store for Pets (my past business) with my friend Corinne, a veterinarian. I was not at all prepared for the terror that it brought up in me! I was shaking so badly. I left my body and went completely blank during the interview for a period of time (I don’t remember how long). The announcer noticed and tried to help me/take the focus off me. Finally, some of our lovely customers called in, and it brought me back. I felt foolish, embarrassed, shameful, and humiliated about going blank, feeling like letting someone down and how paralyzed/frozen with fear I was. I wanted to disappear- precisely how I felt when I forgot my lines in the school play (grade 6), which also came up in this session, and I remembered declaring to myself that I will NEVER do this to myself again! Wow!

This earlier trauma was still locked in my nervous system/energy system, and it was doing its job of alerting me to the ‘danger’ of the podcast! 

At the beginning of session three, I felt terrified to put myself out there, feeling like an imposter- that I don’t have anything valuable to share, say contribute. No one wants to hear what I have to say. Podcasts are for experts in things and have lots of degrees- hmmm, I now know and believe this is not true!

I usually see clear visual images during EFT sessions; filled with hidden symbolism, answers, clues and meanings. In this way, we can work on difficult things, but it’s more indirect as the ‘energetic makeup’ is encompassed in this form instead of directly looking or focusing on the thing or event. So even if we don’t know what it is all about, we are ‘working on it.’

In this session, I saw a black magic carpet really close to my chest, and it felt like it was pushing on me. So, we did some rounds on that, and then it felt like it moved (and changed) into a giant black jellybean-type image in my right neck (an area that I have had a lot of pain/problems with). Two things came up, a memory from about three years ago where I felt called out in public for not doing something ‘right’ (in their opinion). We also tapped on a scene that I saw when I was young and my feelings around it. This is what came to me:

When I was young, someone needed me to need them, so they created constant disapproval to control me and meet their needs. So, therefore, I learned to look to them and others for constant reassurance and approval to tell me if I’m doing things ‘right’ because I have believed that other people always know more than I do. That was a massive realization that a part of me was still locked into- a lot of energy moved/cleared with that understanding.

I could now see it all differently and have compassion for that young part of me who could not safely and freely learn and figure things out independently. After the session, I no longer felt that podcasts are just for ‘experts.’ There are, of course, all kinds of different types of podcasts out there!  In EFT, at the end of a session, we go back and check ‘our work.’ The long list of things that felt true at the beginning did not feel true anymore! Amazing!

So then came the day of the Healing Playground podcast! I was going to be with Tammy and Holly (also authors of “I AM….”). I liked that it was more of a conversation style than just being given questions. I did not worry about it every second after I booked it as I had done with things I was nervous about in the past! Big progress! I felt a two or three out of ten nervousness the evening before, so I did some EFT. The morning before, it was about a two or three out of ten as well. Definitely manageable!

I was greeted by two supportive, kind friends who have been on a similar journey to me. We had an incredible conversation! I was able to feel relaxed, present and myself, and I enjoyed EVERY moment of the time spent with them talking about healing/healing modalities, playfulness, being ourselves, self-care, love- some of my favourite topics!

The toxic and harmful residue of these past events, trauma, and beliefs were no longer holding my nervous system hostage anymore!! I was and am free to write a new story!! It feels amazing to have been able to do something that I would have actively worked against and avoided before!! I am so grateful to Tammy, who came up with the collaborative book idea, Holly and Brian!! I am now wondering what is possible in the future, and I am excited about the possibilities!!

I am so grateful for this experience and the assistance of a very skilled EFT Practitioner (*Brian Rohr) to help me do some deep-level healing and the personal courage to excavate and go beyond years of paralyzing fear, trauma and limiting beliefs.

What would you do if you were not paralyzed with fear and terror? How would you feel if you could overcome or accomplish this/something that might seem almost impossible to do in your life? What would it mean to you? What if someone could gently assist, guide, and support you with EFT (and patience, skill, safety, and empathy) to get to the root of the energetic obstacles and things working against our dreams, goals, hearts desires, truest and deepest expression, peace, and wholeness? This is what I am SO deeply passionate about; supporting and assisting people to achieve and manifest their hearts’ desires!!  

BIG change is possible and maybe even fun!!?



*Brian is a professional storyteller who also offers coaching in public speaking and the art of storytelling. You can link to his storytelling website: www.brianrohr.com or his Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/brianrohrstoryteller.

Sign Up For New Articles

Receive by email the latest empathic articles and education.

Internal Exploration Questions

These questions are just for you to ponder. You can fill it out and save it for your interest if you like. They can help us to get to the root of what is keeping us from TRUE us and our most authentic expression (which can often get buried for many reasons).

Click one of the buttons below and download your fillable PDF to your desktop. You can then fill in the form on your desktop and save it or print it out. If you experience any issues while filling in your form download Abode Acrobat Reader. It is a free software to help you properly use fillable PDF forms.

Internal Exploration Questions

These questions are just for you to ponder. You can fill it out and save it for your interest if you like. They can help us to get to the root of what is keeping us from TRUE us and our most authentic expression (which can often get buried for many reasons).

Click the button below and download your fillable PDF to your desktop. You can then fill in the form on your desktop and save it or print it out. If you experience any issues while filling in your form, download Abode Acrobat Reader. It is a free software to help you properly use fillable PDF forms.

Price List


*All prices are in Canadian dollars

Codependent Free

A brief summary of Codependency (more in “Education")

Codependency is created by our attachment trauma. During the first 3 years of life, we need to feel safe and secure with our parents or caregivers. Arielle Swartz says, “this allows us to develop a healthy sense of self that forms the foundation for our ability to develop meaningful, healthy relationships with others.” If we experience fear, unpredictability, uncertainty, neglect, rage, indifference, abuse, emotional unavailability, etc., the natural attachment process is disrupted, causing trauma, resulting in deep and lasting challenges for those that have experienced it (until it’s dealt with).

Jason Breyer describes Codependency as “a psychological and behavioural condition based on faulty programming and emotional wounds, which affects someone’s capacity to have healthy, mutually satisfying relationships.” Stacy Hoch describes Codependency as an image disorder built on the idea and belief that you should be more concerned with what others think of you than what you think of you, the idea that I do not exist without others’ validation and trying to fill inner voids vicariously by filling others. She says, for others’ sake, the Codependent harms themselves and Narcissist for the sake of themselves harm other people. If left unchecked, the pattern of Codependency may be passed from one generation to the next. See “What is Codependency?”, and “Healing and Understanding Codependency.”

Codependency Programming (but not limited to):

Codependency programming ensures that our identity, love, validation, approval, peace, and sense of safety is solely reliant on others. We falsely believe that other people and situations are responsible for our happiness or lack thereof. We completely abandon ourselves and our wounded and deeply afraid inner child(ren) for the sake of others. This can feel like an emotional, psychological, and physical prison that may come to feel like this is how things will always be, that it’s somehow our fate. In summary, its:  

-An external dependency on others for acceptance, validation, approval, and to feel good about ourselves. 

-Not having your own solid identity, becoming void of ourselves for the sake of someone else.

How it may show itself- coping mechanisms

-We seek permission from others. 

-Our self-esteem is validated by what we do and by others’ opinions of us. 

-We can struggle to meet our own needs. 

-Asserting oneself is almost impossible.

-We create behaviours that assist in denying, ignoring or preventing difficult emotions. 

-Can be very self-destructive and self-sabotaging as being self-abusive is what we were taught. 

-Codependents often isolate themselves- deep core shame and loneliness is at the heart of this.


There are many wonderful ways, tools, techniques, books, online videos, classes, therapies, therapists, modalities, support groups, etc. available to assist us in learning and understanding Codependency and to help heal its deep and many layers! The energetic hold of Codependency programming is strong. To heal, attachment trauma needs to be addressed and inner child work (I encourage you to seek out those that specialize in these areas for support) and identify deep unconscious programming, beliefs, behaviours, and thoughts. I believe that this is the level that Energy Psychology (Emotional Freedom Techniques) really shines! I am extremely passionate about assisting others in addressing the deep energetic layers of Codependency.

If you are interested, please click on the link for “Codependent Thoughts and Beliefs to Tap On” (Emotional Freedom Techniques can also be referred to as “Tapping”). 

If  you are interested in more about Narcissism and Narcissistic Abuse, see “What is Narcissism?, “How to Understand and Identify Narcissistic Abuse,” and “Healing from Narcissistic Abuse.

**My writing is geared towards Empaths and Highly Sensitive People, but it is ultimately for anyone desiring to learn, grow, heal and explore.


  • BREYER, JASON. Empath – A Highly Sensitive Person – Develop your gift, use emotional intelligence to turn your high sensitivity into a superpower: Overcome negative mindsets and master your social skills . Kindle Edition.
  • Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT, Ross. The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap . Morgan James Publishing. Kindle Edition. 
  • Schwartz, Arielle Dr. Complex PTSD and Attachment Trauma (article). Oct 2019. 

Areas of Interest, Services and Goals

Areas of Interest and Services:

As an Empath, Highly Sensitive Person, you have a unique soul’s purpose and a unique perspective. You are ‘wired’ differently and are not meant to ‘fit in” to the status quo. It can be very challenging to see/view and feel things differently than most people- but we are not meant to; we are meant to see and feel them from OUR perspective.

It is so important to accept our highly sensitive, empathic nature, heal our hearts and wounding, learn to love, accept who we are at our core, and find and live our unique soul’s purpose, joy, and spark, passion!

You have a huge loving heart and a large capacity to love and care for others, animals, and the planet. LOVE is who we are; it’s our natural state of being! The world needs (more than ever) our gifts, passion, and heart!

I desire to work with self-aware Empaths and HSP’s who are passionate about learning and growing and deeply desire to explore, excavate, and heal their inner worlds, heart places that need healing, care, support, and attention. I hold a safe, non-judgemental space for you, deep presence, and deep intuitive listening. I bring love, warmth, and care to everything that I do. I use:

Emotional Freedom Techniques is a gentle cognitive, somatic (body) and energetic approach to healing. It assists us in looking at the deep unconscious programming, beliefs, behaviours, and thoughts that impact our behaviour or create imbalance. EFT works with the meridian system to shift energetic blocks or disruptions, returning the body’s energy system to balance- helping us to regulate our nervous system.

Pranic Psychotherapy is Pranic Healing applied in energetically addressing, balancing, and preventing psychological ailments, where stress is the root. This is where I like to focus. Pranic Healing works with the chakra system and auric layers.

EFT and Pranic Healing work exceptionally well together!

I am passionate about supporting Empaths and Highly Sensitive People in healing and nurturing their hearts, discovering and living their true heart’s desires, and embodying their unique gifts! More specifically, my focus is on assisting you in uncovering and:

  • healing and processing the emotional pain from heartbreak, heartache (grief, loss, sorrow, sadness).
  • processing eco/environmental sorrow – our feelings around ALL that is happening with/to our planet and all of her inhabitants.
  • clear the blocks to healthy self-love, care and regard (e.g., feelings of unworthiness, e.g., don’t feel worthy of healthy love). 
  • dismantling old limiting patterns and belief systems that keep us stuck, hidden, and in pain.
  • healing the grip and pull of toxic relationship patterns, feelings, and beliefs such as codependency. Codependency profoundly impacts, impedes, affects us, and holds us back in many ways, e.g., keeping us small, hidden, and invisible. For more information, see Codependent-Beliefs-To-Tap-On for an example of such belief systems and what we can do about it.
  • recovering and healing from narcissistic abuse, being manipulated and taken advantage of.
  • celebrating and accepting being an Empath, a Highly Sensitive Person in this world.  Also:
  • to uncover, recover, rediscover, and reconnect with your joy spark, play, unique gifts, purpose, passion, and calling.
  • nurturing our playful heart, our innate play and joy, to find play in purpose.
  • regulating our nervous system.

BIG Whole Hearts unite!


Under “About,” see “Internal Exploration Questions- General” and “Internal Exploration Questions -Codependency.”


Heart healing, heart balancing, heart wholeness.

Developing and cultivating kindness, gentleness, love, and compassion towards ourselves.

Coming to an accepting, peaceful place around our difficult feelings and emotions, e.g., sorrow, sadness, suffering, isolation, heaviness, loneliness, fear.

Clear harmful energies and residue from past relationships.

Healing the patterns that keep us attracting painful relationships.

Feeling worthy of the types of relationships that we desire and authentic connection with someone who also lives from the heart, is kind, can express their feelings, and you can express yours safely. Both people take responsibility for their actions, no games, you deeply care about each other’s happiness and wellbeing.

Healing our faulty internalized beliefs about how we view love and discovering what it truly is/looks like, for us, learning what healthy love is and being open to and attracting (kind, gentle) healthy love in our lives.

Making self-loving decisions about who we let into our hearts and lives.

Learning to trust ourselves and make kind, loving, safe choices about who we allow into our lives and hearts.

Relationship(s) in your life that nurture you, that are safe, gentle, loving, nurturing and kind.

 The freedom to live and love wholeheartedly.

Thriving after heartbreak, heartache, rejection, loss, abuse, betrayal, narcissistic abuse.

Reclaiming and rediscovering ourselves/who we TRULY are and our true passion and purpose in the process.

To have fun, be joyful, playful, free and to live our hearts desires.

A regulated nervous system, inner peace.

Transforming pain and suffering.

Welcome to Empathic Heart Healing

Empaths and Highly Sensitive People (HSP’s) have unique ways of experiencing, feeling, sensing, observing, perceiving, processing, and absorbing the world. They feel things deeply; including love, beauty and joy, pain, hurt, and sorrow.

Emotional pain or struggle is a block or disruption in our body’s energy system and can stem from countless places, unique to you and your situation. My passion is to assist Empaths and HSP’s in understanding, accessing and releasing the root cause (feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and emotions) of the energy block(s) or disturbances. Codependency is just one manifestation of emotional pain, an example of how our TRUE selves can get buried, hidden (at the beginning of our lives), and stay this way until it is safe to re-emerge.

Other avenues might be narcissistic abuse, heartache/heartbreak, infertility, low self-esteem, rejection (initially from others- and then towards ourselves), neglect, and you can insert your experience(s) here. When we are in emotional pain, there are corresponding feelings such as shame, sadness, grief, guilt, fear, loneliness, anger, isolation, and despair, to name a few. Our body gives us clues through feelings and sensations about what is happening within us and how we feel around others and in certain environments.

Emotional Freedom Techniques, also called EFT, or “Tapping” can assist us in identifying, releasing, clearing, and healing the energetic and emotional blocks, beliefs, fears, and barriers that limit us and keep us stuck, small, and hidden, so that we can access and get re-in touch with our deepest, fullest, truest and most authentic expression- as well as deep inner peace, vibrant health, light-heartedness, joy, play, passion, bliss and vitality.

Every one of us has a unique energy/energy vibration, traits, purpose(s), gifts, talents, abilities, etc. to offer, to offer others, and contribute to the world. We all have unique goals, dreams and desires.  Blocks in our energy system can derail or make difficult, any one of these. My deepest and truest desires for EVERYONE is to live and express themselves in the deepest, truest, freest, and most authentic way possible!!

When we are young, we learn by watching, observing, and adapting to our surroundings. We are often told by our parent(s), caregivers, society, etc. who they think we are, who they think we should be, and who they want us to be, do, say, or act like. As we get older, these adaptations and beliefs can become a hindrance. We can be controlled by a belief that was learned and taught, which does not even have its origins in who we are, and how we desire to live.

As an example, I recently explored an old, worn-out belief of mine with an EFT colleague. That is, “I am only worthy, only if I am productive, and that “play” is a waste of time.” Yikes! This is a belief that I learned and took on as “truth” very early on- a learned family pattern. It was impacting me in numerous ways (which were not in line with TRUE me). This is certainly not a belief that I want to pass on to my son! I LOVE the magic and power of EFT! and Pranic Healing!! My goal is to provide a safe, compassionate, secure, and non-judgemental space for you to peel back the layers of what no longer serves you and holds you back from TRUE you….

This quote from Judith Orloff, the author of “The Empath’s Survival Guide” sums this up perfectly and resonates with me deeply:

“I’ve seen how empaths are often “chosen” to break the generational patterns of negativity in their families. They don’t necessarily volunteer for this role on a conscious level, but it’s nonetheless their destiny to fulfil it. When empaths heal themselves and say “yes” to honouring their sensitivities, they are saying “NO” to patterns of abuse, neglect, and addiction that have been repeated in their relatives. The intergenerational transmission of pain stops with them. Through their recovery and the acceptance of their gifts, empaths are the ones who can repair the greater familial whole. Mindful, conscious people are the most effective agents of change.”



If you are familiar with EFT or would like to explore more about EFT, and how it can be used for Codependency, please email me, and I will send you a copy of “Codependent Beliefs, Thoughts, Feelings, and Emotions to Tap on.”


  • Orloff, Judith. The Empath’s Survival Guide (pp. 207-208). Sounds True. Kindle Edition.