The Impact of Healing Complex Trauma

Tamara Low

- Certified EFT
- Pranic Healer

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Trauma impacts each and every one of us to varying degrees. Trauma can be described as feeling endangered; a threat to your life, wellbeing or sanity. The situation is out of our control and we may feel helpless. Intricate physiological processes in our brain and bodies are designed to diligently keep us safe, identify potential threats, and to prevent further trauma. Complex and Developmental trauma are the types of trauma that I would like to touch on today, and looking at the ways in which healing from it deeply impacts our lives.

Complex Trauma is repetitive trauma and often begins early in life and disrupts many of a child’s physical, cognitive, behavioural, emotional development, and the very formation of a ‘self’. It interferes with a child’s ability to develop a secure attachment bond with a parent or caregiver. Developmental trauma can happen in utero or after birth. It occurs during the physical, neurological, and emotional growth processes. It commonly stems from insecure attachment with a parent or caregiver.

Unhealed Trauma Impacts us in Various Ways:

Unhealed trauma can affect and impact us physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and energetically, in numerous ways; including our connection with ourselves and others, how we feel day to day, moment to moment, also impacting our sense of safety and our outlook and perspective on life. 

Due to the fact that we were so young when the trauma(s) took place, it can be very difficult, if not, impossible to remember. It is also very difficult to identify the physical and emotional reasons why we might feel the way we do; including the mysterious difficulties or circumstances that we experience, as well as the blocks and the repetition of harmful or unhealthy unconscious patterns or behaviours.

When the trauma/fear response is at the forefront of our lives, our physiology is making decisions for us. We might be hypervigilant, on high alert, and our ability to “see” clearly is greatly hindered. We might notice feeling unsafe, untrusting, unsettled, anxious, tense; including emotional and physical pain, impatient, angry, irritated, frustrated, pessimistic, scattered/difficulty concentrating and focusing, disconnected, frozen, numb/numbing of emotions, low- energy, resigned, self- critical and judgemental to the self and of others, emotionally cut off, withdrawing from others, confusion, shame, fear, depression, suffer with insomnia, etc.

When we are not  grounded in ourselves or when we were not able to develop a “self”, it becomes way easier to be drawn into (or become resigned to) negativity, pessimism, feeling helpless (it’s hard to imagine a future), powerless, self-loathing, and/or drama within and around us. It might feel “normal” as its familiar. It is not our “normal” state of being to feel this way- it shows us that something us out of balance and needs our care and attention. In our natural state of being, we feel safe and alive in our bodies; positive, optimistic and joy-filled and are able to live our deepest and truest lives! Yes, life comes with challenges and difficulties, in which, in our natural state, we are better able to handle them.

Healing Our Energy System 

Pranic Healing 

Complex and/or developmental trauma can be seen in our energy body. Through a chakra scan (Pranic Healing) we can identify congestion or depletion in the amygdala, vagus nerve, hippocampus, hypothalamus, thalamus; and numerous other places, including the solar plexus, adrenal glands. 

This physiological activity in these areas sends messages to and impacts the rest of the body, such as digestive issues, menstrual issues, back pain, neck pain and so on. As a result, we might receive certain “labels” such as ADHD, depression, anxiety disorders, etc.

Pranic Healing assists us in healing and balancing the trauma/trauma response through the chakras; impacting our physiology, nervous system, emotions, and the mind.

Emotional Freedom Techniques 

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or “Tapping”) is a somatic (body) release technique which has been shown to decrease amygdala activation, which reduces the stress response, slowing down heart rate and respiration; moving away from sympathetic activation towards the optimal arousal zone/regulation.

EFT can assist us with deeper level understanding; when our nervous system is regulated, our unconscious mind is more freed up to assist us with memories, ideas and insights which help  heal the energetic, physical, mental, emotional block(s), so that we can reclaim the parts of us that the trauma altered or derailed.

Pranic Healing and Emotional Freedom Techniques work so beautifully in combination with one another!! 

Re-Connecting with Ourselves and Others

When we are able to look at, identify and safely process and heal the original trauma, the more our nervous systems/bodies, physiology, mind and emotions are able to relax and feel safe and secure. This changes how we feel in our bodies, about ourselves, and how we feel in the world; altering our outlook and perceptions and enabling us to become more resilient and better equipped to handle life’s many challenges and twists and turns.

Then, we are more freed up to connect with others more deeply and in meaningful and positive ways; including looking for solutions and cooperating with others for the common good. We may begin to develop or remember the parts of ourselves that need our love, compassion, care, and understanding and give those to ourselves. 

End Summary 

A lifetime can be affected by the events that happen during childhood. What happened to us/what we experienced, and what we “took in” on a deep level about ourselves, and our safety, is what we experienced and NOT who we ARE at our core, although it may feel that way.

Healing trauma is a sacred process involving willingness, courage, dedication, self-reflection, and self- care. In healing the layers of the trauma and the impact on our self-esteem, nervous system, and sense of safety in the world, we may then become acquainted with our TRUE selves (essence, energy and nature) and feeling peaceful, at ease, calm, positive, hopeful and grateful in our being(s) and that’s a beautiful thing!

Warmly, 

Tamara

Please see the contact page if you would like to let me know what you thought about this article, or if you are interested in receiving Empathic Heart Healing’s articles/blogs/newsletters or joining the facebook page. Thank you.

References:

The definitions of Trauma and Complex and Developmental Trauma were adapted from

“Tapping Out of Trauma 1.0”- by Craig Weiner DC and Suzanne Fageol CC

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Internal Exploration Questions
General

These questions are just for you to ponder. You can fill it out and save it for your interest if you like. They can help us to get to the root of what is keeping us from TRUE us and our most authentic expression (which can often get buried for many reasons).

Click one of the buttons below and download your fillable PDF to your desktop. You can then fill in the form on your desktop and save it or print it out. If you experience any issues while filling in your form download Abode Acrobat Reader. It is a free software to help you properly use fillable PDF forms.

Internal Exploration Questions
Codependency

These questions are just for you to ponder. You can fill it out and save it for your interest if you like. They can help us to get to the root of what is keeping us from TRUE us and our most authentic expression (which can often get buried for many reasons).

Click the button below and download your fillable PDF to your desktop. You can then fill in the form on your desktop and save it or print it out. If you experience any issues while filling in your form, download Abode Acrobat Reader. It is a free software to help you properly use fillable PDF forms.

Price List

 

*All prices are in Canadian dollars

Codependent Free

A brief summary of Codependency (more in “Education")

Codependency is created by our attachment trauma. During the first 3 years of life we need to feel safe and secure with our parents or caregivers. Arielle Swartz says, “this allows us to develop a healthy sense of self that forms the foundation for our ability to develop meaningful, healthy relationships with others.” If we experience fear, unpredictability, uncertainty, neglect, rage, indifference, abuse, emotional unavailability, etc. the natural attachment process is disrupted, causing trauma, which can result in deep and lasting challenges for those that have experienced it (until its dealt with).

Jason Breyer describes Codependency as “a psychological and behavioural condition based on faulty programming and emotional wounds, which affects someone’s capacity to have healthy, mutually satisfying relationships.” Stacy Hoch describes Codependency as an image disorder built on the idea and belief that you should be more concerned with what others think of you than what you think of you, the idea that I do not exist without other’s validation and trying to fill inner voids vicariously by filling others. She says, for the sake of others, the Codependent harms themselves and Narcissist for the sake of themselves harms other people. If left unchecked, the pattern of Codependency may be passed from one generation to the next. See “What is Codependency?”, and “Healing and Understanding Codependency.”

Codependency Programming (but not limited to):

Codependency programming ensures that our identity, love, validation, approval, peace, and sense of safety is solely reliant on others. We falsely believe that other people and situations are responsible for our happiness or lack thereof. We completely abandon ourselves and our wounded and deeply afraid inner child(ren) for the sake of others. This can feel like an emotional, psychological, and physical prison that may come to feel like this is how things will always be, that it’s somehow our fate. In summary, its:  

-An external dependency on others for acceptance, validation, approval, and to feel good about ourselves. 

-Not having your own solid identity, becoming void of ourselves for the sake of someone else.

How it may show itself- coping mechanisms

-We seek permission from others. 

-Our self-esteem is validated by what we do and by others’ opinions of us. 

-We can struggle to meet our own needs. 

-Asserting oneself is almost impossible.

-We create behaviours that assist in denying, ignoring or preventing difficult emotions. 

-Can be very self-destructive and self-sabotaging as being self- abusive is what we were taught. 

-Codependents often isolate themselves- deep core shame and loneliness is at the heart of this.

Healing

There are many wonderful ways, tools, techniques, books, on-line videos, classes, therapies, therapists, modalities, support groups, etc. available to assist us in learning and understanding Codependency and to help heal its deep and many layers! The energetic hold of Codependency programming is strong. In order to heal, attachment trauma needs to be addressed, as well as inner child work (I encourage you to seek out those that specialize in these areas for support) and looking at and identifying deep unconscious programming, beliefs, behaviours, and thoughts. I believe that this is the level that Energy Psychology (Emotional Freedom Techniques) really shines! I am extremely passionate about assisting others in addressing the deep energetic layers of Codependency.

If you are interested in a list of, “Codependent Thoughts and Beliefs to Tap On” (Emotional Freedom Techniques can be also referred to as “Tapping”) please email me and I will send that to you.

If  you are interested in more about Narcissism and Narcissistic Abuse see “What is Narcissism?, “How to Understand and Identify Narcissistic Abuse”, and “Healing from Narcissistic Abuse.

**My writing is geared towards Empaths and Highly Sensitive People, but it is ultimately for anyone desiring to learn, grow, heal and explore

References:

  • BREYER, JASON. Empath – A Highly Sensitive Person – Develop your gift, use emotional intelligence to turn your high sensitivity into a superpower: Overcome negative mindsets and master your social skills . Kindle Edition.
  • Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT, Ross. The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap . Morgan James Publishing. Kindle Edition. 
  • Schwartz, Arielle Dr. Complex PTSD and Attachment Trauma (article). Oct 2019. 

Areas of Interest, Services and Goals

Areas of Interest:

I am passionate about assisting Empaths and Highly Sensitive  People in the areas of our lives that hold us back from our TRUE selves, passions and calling(s). My goal is to:

  • Assist in removing, eliminating and clearing the energetic blocks, hurt, pain and fear that keep us from our true selves, and our hopes, goals, dreams and desires.
  • Assist others with emotional pain; including  Narcisstic Abuse, and with their unique challenges and struggles.
  • Assist others in exploring, eliminating, and dismantling old limiting patterns and belief systems that keep us stuck, hidden and in pain (eg. beliefs that we took on or were taught about ourselves as children).
  • Assist others in recognizing, identifying and healing Codependent belief systems and the multitude of ways that Codependency affects us, impacts us, impedes us, and holds us back, eg. keeping us small, hidden and invisible.
  • Offer energetic and educational support for Empaths and Highly Sensitive People.

Under “About”, see Internal Inquiry Questions, such as, “What is getting in the way of your truest and deepest expression?”, and an Internal Inquiry Questions about Codependency. 

The Ultimate Goal

Living a life that is in line with TRUE us.

Being whole, happy, energetic, vibrant, and free.

Achieving and perusing our true and deepest desires (in spite of what anyone thinks).

Reconnecting with our TRUE self and locating our TRUE- est and DEEPEST calling.

Celebrating Empathy and the gifts of High Sensitivity.  

Developing kindness, gentleness and compassion towards ourselves.

**This is a process. We can take daily steps toward achieving these goals.

My Services

I offer support  for those that desire to explore their inner world to excavate their TRUE self and their deepest and truest goals, passions and desires; for those that desire to go on an emotional wellness scavenger hunt, with the goal of cleaning the old clutter and finding the true gem that is YOU.

Pranic Psychotherapy is Pranic Healing applied in energetically preventing and treating Psychological ailments, where stress is at the root. This is where I like to focus. Pranic Healing works with the chakra system and the auric layers.

Emotional Freedom Techniques works with the meridian system to clear energetic blocks or disruptions that get in the way of our health (physical and emotional). It is one of the MOST powerful somatic (body) release techniques.

Emotional Freedom Techniques and Pranic Healing both assist in regulating our Nervous System. 

 

Welcome to Empathic Heart Healing

Empaths and Highly Sensitive People (HSP’s) have unique ways of experiencing, feeling, sensing, observing, perceiving, processing, and absorbing the world around them. They feel things deeply; including love, beauty and joy and also pain, hurt, and sorrow.

Emotional pain or struggle is a block or disruption in our body’s energy system and can stem from countless places, unique to you and your situation. My passion to assist Empaths and HSP’s in understanding, accessing, and releasing the root cause (feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and emotions) of the energy block(s) or disturbances. Codependency, is just one manifestation of emotional pain, and an example of how our TRUE selves can get buried, or hidden (at the beginning of our lives), and stay this way until it is safe to re-emerge.

Other avenues might be narcissistic abuse, heartache/hearttbreak, infertility, low self- esteem, rejection (initially from others- and then towards ourselves), neglect, and you can  insert your experience(s) here. When we are in emotional pain, there are corresponding feelings such as shame, sadness, grief, guilt, fear, loneliness, anger, isolation, and despair, just to name a few. Our body gives us clues through feelings and sensations as to what is happening within us as well as how we feel around others and in certain environments.

Emotional Freedom Techniques, also called EFT, or “Tapping” can assist us in identifying, releasing, clearing, and healing the energetic and emotional blocks, beliefs, fears, and barriers that limit us and keep us stuck, small, and hidden, so that we can access and get re-in touch with our deepest, fullest, truest and most authentic expression- as well as deep inner peace, vibrant health, light-heartedness, joy, play, passion, bliss and vitality.

Every one of us has a unique energy/energy vibration, traits, purpose(s), gifts, talents, abilities, etc. to offer, to offer others, and contribute to the world. We all have unique goals, dreams and desires.  Blocks in our energy system can derail or make difficult, any one of these. My deepest and truest desires for EVERYONE is to live and express themselves in the deepest, truest, freest, and most authentic way possible!!

When we are young we learn by watching, observing, and adapting to our surroundings. We are often told by our parent(s), caregivers, society, etc. who they think we are, who they think that we should be, and who they want us to be, do, say, or act like. As we get older these adaptations and beliefs can become a hindrance. We can be controlled by a belief that was learned and taught, which does not even have its origins in who we are, and how we desire to live.

As an example, I recently explored an old, worn out belief of mine with an EFT colleague. That is, “I am only worthy, only if I am being productive, and that “play” is a waste of time.” Yikes! This is a belief that I learned and took on as “truth” very early on- a learned family pattern. It was impacting me in numerous ways (which were not in line with TRUE me). This is certainly not a belief that I want to pass on to my son! I LOVE the magic and power of EFT! and Pranic Healing!! My goal is to provide a safe, compassionate, secure, and non- judgemental space for you to peel back the layers of what no longer serves you and holds you back from TRUE you….

This quote from Judith Orloff, the author of “The Empath’s Survival Guide” sums this up perfectly and resonates with me deeply:

“I’ve seen how empaths are often “chosen” to break the generational patterns of negativity in their families. They don’t necessarily volunteer for this role on a conscious level, but it’s nonetheless their destiny to fulfill it. When empaths heal themselves and say “yes” to honouring their sensitivities, they are saying “NO” to patterns of abuse, neglect, and addiction that have been repeated in their relatives. The intergenerational transmission of pain stops with them. Through their recovery and the acceptance of their gifts, empaths are the ones who can repair the greater familial whole. Mindful, conscious people are the most effective agents of change.”

Warmly,

Tamara

If you are familiar with EFT, or you would like to explore more about EFT, and how it can be used for Codependency, please email me and I will send you a copy of “Codependent Beliefs, Thoughts, Feelings, and Emotions to Tap on.”

References:

  • Orloff, Judith. The Empath’s Survival Guide (pp. 207-208). Sounds True. Kindle Edition.